


You're a Little Monster Man Aren't You Gordon?

by Lizardman Xander (Lizardman_Xander)



Category: Half-Life, Half-Life VR but the AI is Self-Aware - Fandom
Genre: I felt like crossing the Monster Gordon AU over with HLVRAI, Monster Gordon AU, Yeah there's violence and mentions blood and morphine, different points of view may lead to slight variations in events, the HEV suit administers morphine in the game and I wanted to keep some of that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:26:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24448822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lizardman_Xander/pseuds/Lizardman%20Xander
Summary: I decided to write out the scene where Gordon gets his hand/lower arm cut off, but with a twist. First will be Gordon's point of view, then Benrey's, then a certain someone's. I'm probably only gonna make this three chapters.Edit: And then I realized, it would not be three chapters.
Comments: 34
Kudos: 311





	1. Gordon

Gordon was honestly just so freaking tired of all of this, and his body was aching within the HEV suit he wore to protect himself from various hazards. The suit’s morphine that was administered when he got a particularly bad wound was one of the only things that had kept him from collapsing sometimes. That, and the medical stations around the Black Mesa facility. 

It was too perfect to see one in a room after quite a while, all too convenient. Then Benrey went on and on about Blu-Ray and stuff he honestly tuned out somewhat. He wasn’t planning on going in there at first, but eventually he was more or less goaded and pushed by the insufferable security guard and Bubby into going in the room with the medical station and TV. He would go in to just humor the bastard

Then everything went dark. His breathing picked up when he found out he couldn’t see, he was asking around about the lights being knocked out. 

“Hey, who the fuck knocked out the lights?”he asked in confusion. He then heard Bubby’s voice yelling for someone to get him before being knocked roughly to the floor and blindfolded. He grit his teeth and growled softly as he heard Bubby talking about them finally taking care of business as they started to beat the crap out of Dr. Freeman. He and Benrey had set this up! They had planned for him to get taken out! They had betrayed him! He didn't even really know why. He didn't think he did anything to them except help them. Yeah, he yelled quite a bit, and didn't like or trust Benrey because the guard somehow made it his mission to just get under his skin and piss him off.

His heart broke when he heard Tommy’s pained/worried voice, questioning what they were doing with him. Why were Tommy and Dr. Coomer not helping him?! Weren’t they his friends? Were they not a team?! Was someone holding them back? He was scared for them, more than himself honestly since he figured he was already as good as dead. As he worried for his friends t he kicks and punches that the soldiers delivered to his already aching body were only partially absorbed by the suit in the thinner areas that had less padding and protection. He knew that he would still be pretty badly bruised underneath the damn thing that kept mentioning that it detected damage to his person. That is, if he somehow survived all of this.

“Do your job right and he’s gonna be dead soon!”Benrey goaded, monotone voice sounding too pleased as he watched them beat Dr. Freeman. Yeah, that pretty much cemented in his mind that they were going to kill him. He thought briefly about his son, about his baby boy Joshua. It hurt him even more than the physical damage knowing that his boy would likely grow up without his father being there. That brought dark, inky tears to his eyes that went unnoticed due to the black piece of fabric that obstructed his vision. It felt like he hadn't seen him in so long, and he just hoped that his family would be notified about his death so they didn't think he had run out on them or had gone missing.

“Gordon, I wish I could help,”Dr. Coomer’s voice chimed in, sounding only slightly regretful as it hit Gordon's ears, “But you’re out of Playcoins.” Gordon wanted to just scream at the old scientist to forget the fucking playcoins and just help him! He couldn't scream though, not with them kicking the shit out of him like this. That was when he felt the blade that one of the soldiers produced slice into his arm, drawing out a viscous, oily and yet syrup-like teal substance from the wound that Gordon could still not see due to his vision being taken from him from a piece of cloth. 

“Wh-What the fuck?”Gordon heard one of the soldiers shout. The scent of something acidic hit Gordon’s nose, making him gag slightly. It was so very sour and the equivalent of biting into a lemon, and honestly hurt a little to just smell. His face twisted in pain from the wound and from smelling whatever it was that just hit the air. He assumed it came from his suit, but wasn’t sure since he couldn’t see through whatever was blocking his vision.   
  


“Shut the fuck up and keep cutting,”one of the other soldiers grunted out with a hiss, sounding like he was in a little bit of pain himself. Gordon could smell something new, something he'd never smelled before along with the pungent sour smell. Gordon let out an ear piercing and inhuman shriek as he felt the blade cut through his flesh, eventually getting to the bone before he heard a crunch and felt the blade keep going until half of his limb was severed. All he heard was ringing in his ears before he could finally see again, only to witness himself looking down at the horrified faces of the army men that were contorted into terrified howling screams that fell silent on his loudly ringing ears before the scientist blacked out.

When Gordon woke up, he was laying somewhere, arm oozing out...something he didn’t recognize that had melted the floor around it. His HEV suit seemed almost new, but with the part where his stump was was missing. He tasted the metallic copper of blood in his mouth and gagged, spitting out blood that wasn’t his own and some tissue. He could feel bits of stringy flesh between his teeth like when he'd eat particularly stringy chicken. He briefly used his tongue to try to get it out, thankfully succeeding in getting the worst of it.

“Fuuuuck,”Gordon groaned as he sat up, feeling dizzy, exhausted, and in so much pain. Everything hurt. Everything had happened so fast… He wondered where the others were, cursing them in pain. The suit's pain killers could really only do so much for an amputation of part of his limb. He carefully got to his knees, using his remaining hand, trying to help himself up since he knew there were still aliens and military around. Though he saw a headcrab close by actually skittering away from him, and it was the fastest he'd seen one move which disturbed the vulnerable man. He quickly looked at the stump on his lower arm, gritting his teeth as he did, it had stopped bleeding for the most part. Hell, he was surprised he hadn't bled to death. His nose wrinkled at the scent of what was scabbing his wound up, it was still pungent, but muted in its dried state. He wondered if the suit produced this because there was no way in hell that he could have done so himself...Right? He was human. Humans bled a red substance that smelled like pennies and couldn't disolve concrete or trash like it was styrofoam being melted by acetone. Gordon groaned in agony as he pressed his hand against his wound, trudging forward. He noticed he was in the wrong part of the garbage compator and rolled his eyes, grumbling softly under his breath.

"This is not the part where the job gets done..."


	2. Benrey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains some pretty graphic depictions of violence such as dismemberment, death, gore, and humans being torn apart.

Benrey just wanted Gordon to go into the little room with the health station. Yes, he was completely aware that it was too convenient, but the security guard didn’t really care. He had a job to do and a part to play. This was part of the scripted events. Gordon would go in, get roughed up a bit by the military and then get dumped into the trash compactor. He wouldn’t die, and he wouldn’t get hurt too bad. That was the plan. That was what had to happen according to how the game always went. Though...Things were different this time around. Gordon wasn’t alone for most of the game, and Benrey had decided to follow this time. Still, in this run, Benrey was supposed to end up as Gordon’s enemy. He wanted to add some character development of course. It would make it more fun for the player piloting Gordon’s body

Benrey wasn’t surprised when the lights cut out or when the military descended on Gordon. This had to happen, it was supposed to happen like this. Benrey even encouraged them to hurt Gordon. He noticed that Tommy and Coomer were held back, made to watch as well. What had surprised him was the knife that the soldiers had drawn. This wasn’t part of the plan! He was speechless for a little bit. They hadn’t been told to do that!! They weren’t supposed to maim him, just rough him up a bit and toss him into the compactor. As the knife sliced into the suit, it was difficult and the soldier holding the knife had to use a sawing motion to get through the tough exterior. Then Benrey winced a tiny bit when he saw something leaking out of Gordon. It didn’t look like human blood, it was a teal color and smelled incredibly sour.

“Wh-What the fuck!?”one of the soldiers exclaimed when they saw the substance. Benrey could see that it was reacting with both the knife and with the soldier’s glove. The other soldier had been splashed by it as the first pulled away quickly, knife still in Gordon. The glove had been almost eaten away and their hand was turning red around the substance that came from Gordon or the suit. Benrey couldn’t tell yet.

“Shut the fuck up and keep sawing,”the second hissed out, feeling the burning pain of the fluid eating away at their flesh where it came into contact with it. The first put his hand back on the handle of the knife, sawing away as fast as possible just to get it done, but this caused more of that teal fluid to spill out and eat away at whatever it touched. The soldier with the knife looked to be in agony as he finished his task. The fluid had just dulled the knife and eaten away at it as well, but not as rapidly as it melted flesh and bone.

Gordon wasn’t looking too much better either, his suit was cracking in some places, being pierced through by bone-like spines in others. It was breaking apart, and Gordon was looking less and less human as time went on. Benrey could see that the man’s hair that was normally kept back in a ponytail had come out and had turned into dark, black, twisting tentacles. Gordon’s skin was becoming a deep shade of inky black and looked like it was melting off of him as eyes opened up all over where his HEV suit had cracked and fallen away. Benrey could also see teeth, terrible, huge, and sharp, ready to tear into flesh and kill whoever had hurt him. The sounds were horrible too, wet crunching and snapping as Gordon’s actual shape changed and grew. He resembled that of some sort of eldritch beast that looked like a mix between several animals with flesh that appeared to look like a void made of slick putty that was contained within some sort of clear membrane.

Benrey couldn’t move even as the others had fled, and it was much the same for the now screaming military men. The creature that was Gordon let out a horrible sound from it-his maw, sounding like many strangled screams, nails on a chalkboard, and a fork scraping against a plate. Gordon lunged at them and started to tear into them, tearing them apart asn Benrey just stared in silent shock and slight horror. Benrey knew he wasn’t normal himself, but he’d never lost control like this before. Gordon kept tearing into them, and Benrey could hear what sounded like wet canvas being torn, the security guard knew better, he knew it was flesh. He could hear wet gurgling and rasping as the two boot boys died in front of him. Fuck, blood was everywhere. It was worse than when they shot people. He could tell now though that the oily teal substance he had seen was in fact coming from Gordon.

“Heh, you’re a little monster man, aren’t you Gordon?”Benrey said in a voice that was less confident than usual. What was this feeling he felt? His heart was racing, he was trembling, yet frozen in place, his chest was tight...it was fear. Benrey was afraid for once in his life. This wasn’t fun anymore. He felt so small in front of Gordon who could tower over him. He flinched when he saw Gordon’s head whip around with a crack, he had taken an arm with him as he turned his head. Gordon let out a low, thundering snarl, baring a multitude of razor sharp teeth. Benrey felt cold even as he started to sweat. He was trying to get his body to move, to run!

The beast was getting closer to him, snarling. When Gordon moved forward, Benrey felt like he could finally move and started to race towards the exit of the room. His chest burned as he ran blindly away from that thing that Gordon had become. Fuck this! Fuck that!! He didn’t want any part of that!! Gordon of course chased after him, loudly plowing through the hall and even through walls. Benrey thankfully found a vent and scurried inside as Gordon came to a stop and sniffed around with another guttural noise from within his throat. Benrey covered his mouth to keep from making a sound as Gordon scratched at the entrance before trying to fit his snapping jaws inside. Benrey just scuttled back in further and out of sight just as Gordon made himself smaller to poke his head in before getting larger again and stalking past. Benrey waited a while until Gordon was gone before letting out a shaky breath. He didn’t realize that he had started crying until he pulled his hand away enough from his mouth to feel the tears on his fingertips. As a monster Gordon was even more deadly than his own inhuman form. As he shuffled to a grate in the vent, he caught sight of a man in a navy blue suit, casually walking down the hall with a briefcase. Who the fuck was that?? The guard wondered if he should follow this guy, but decided against it since he really would rather not see another being torn apart by the monster Gordon really was.


	3. Gman

The Government man was watching as always, and knew that this sort of thing would happen eventually since he kept close tabs on everything even when he wasn’t present for an event. He knew he had to track Gordon down at this point since the military was looking for the scientist. Gman just hoped he would get to Gordon before the military did. It would be interesting, yet disastrous. He had noticed that Gordon wasn’t what he seemed a while back, he’d read his files and looked into him. Gordon sparked some interest within him. 

He stopped for a second when he heard what sounded like screams. He tried to figure out if he needed to head in that direction, but the inhuman roar that came next confirmed his trajectory. So, they had woken the beast. The game was about to get much more interesting for Benrey and the Science Team. He smirked a little bit as he headed down the hall. As he got closer, he could smell blood, human and something else. Something more like his kind. For the suited gentleman, it was easy to tell when someone wasn’t human. There was just something about them that gave him a certain gut reaction that made him feel both excited and curious. That security guard that followed them had the same sort of feeling, and of course his own son felt inhuman as well, but he knew just where that young man came from. In fact, the Science Team didn’t feel very human to him at all, but only Tommy, Benrey, and Gordon were the closest to him in terms of the type of creature he was.

He peered into the room and was greeted with the sight of blood, human and eldritch as well as Gordon’s poor destroyed HEV suit. He then noticed inhuman footprints leading out of the room, they were red, and very fresh and small puddles and smears of teal that were eating away at whatever they had landed on. 

“My my Dr. Freeman, you’ve made quite the….mess haven’t you?”Gman crooned more to himself since he was alone. He tutted softly as if looking at the mess that a toddler had made. 

“But you’ve given me a useful trail.” He followed it, walking fairly briskly, yet still looking casual. He would be embarrassed if he slipped and fell in this mess even if no one was around to see. He followed the trail for quite some time, at least 10 minutes or so until he came upon a large beast, one that had many sets of eyes and a dark, undulating inky form within a smaller, empty lab...save for some bodies and equipment of course. The beast was currently licking at his still bleeding stump on one of his front legs/arms. The right one from what Gman could tell. 

“Now, now, Dr. Freeman, that is hardly becoming of a scientist… licking your own wounds,”Gman tisked, shaking his head as he scolded the entity in front of him even as the creature hissed and bared his fangs at the suited man.

“Doctor Gordon Freeman,”Gman said firmly, blue eyes glowing. This was his no nonsense tone. He reached into his briefcase and pulled out a gun which caused Gordon to snarl and back up into the wall.

“I am trying to help you, but you are being terribly rude. I’m afraid I’m going to have to give you something to make you...sleep for a while so I can help you.” The Government man loaded up the gun with a couple darts and shot Gordon with them. 

“Nighty night Dr. Freeman,”Gman purred as the beast wavered and fell. In his state of calm, Gordon returned to looking human. The suited man then cleaned out Gordon’s wound properly and dressed him in some clothes and a new HEV suit since the last things Gordon had on him were destroyed.

“Please don’t wreck this one, okay, Dr. Freeman,”Gman sighed as he scooped Gordon and his briefcase up to carry him to where he should be for when he woke up. He had to keep things going as best as he could as close to how they are supposed to be. Gman gently pat Gordon on the head with a soft chuckle and even gave him a new pair of glasses.

“Stay alive, Gordon, I know you will being what you are. My dear Tommy would be so crushed if something terrible happened to you. He is oh so fond of you, and besides, you have a birthday party to attend later.” Gman gave a sigh and stood up, brushing himself up, straightening his clothes. He picked up his briefcase again and walked away, going back into the shadows to observe and nudge things in the right direction. This was just a little bump in the road as far as he was concerned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like I'm gonna add all the POV of the Science Team, Benrey, and Gman.


	4. Tommy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeeeere's Tommy!!

Tommy was just really wanting to get home, he was tired of being here for once. The 36 year old man looked around rather anxiously, keeping his pistol ready in case trouble rose. He trusted these guys and Benrey to help him and each other to get out. The guy looked up to Gordon, though the man was younger, as a leader. It was nice that he didn’t have to handle such a responsibility himself. 

Then they stopped outside of a little room. Tommy looked around between the group to try and gauge how he should possibly react. He was confused of course. He then heard Benry talking about how there was all this cool stuff in there. That couldn’t be right though...But Tommy trusted Benry and figured he was messing with Gordon again. He knew about Benry’s little crush on the scientist, and smiled a little. It was probably a fun little joke. Oh, how wrong he was when the lights cut out briefly and he felt himself getting pulled back by a soldier, arms being held behind his back so he couldn’t even help Mr. Freeman. When the lights came back on, he winced a bit. It was a bit much for him, but he knew he could deal with it. He was strong! He was a member of The Science team! He struggled a bit then gasped.

“O-Oh no!!” he couldn’t keep his voice steady as he watched in horror at the sight in front of him. “Wh-What are they doing to Mister Freeman’s arm!!? He-He was supposed to help us get out of here!” Tommy looked over at Dr. Coomer pleadingly, knowing that the older man could easily overpower these guys. Yet, the older man didn’t move and just kept watching with an expression that Tommy couldn’t read. He then wrinkled his nose as an acidic scent hit it, it made him feel a little sick. He whipped his head back over to Gordon, not really wanting to see what they were doing to him.

There was this fluid coming out from the suit...no, it was from Gordon, Tommy’s mind corrected him when he looked closer, and it was highly corrosive from the look of things. He could also see that something was happening to Gordon. Gordon was trembling and making these noises, the suit was starting to creak as the man in front of him changed. It hurt his head to look, but he couldn’t look away. He felt a twinge of terror going through him, and the soldier keeping him back must have felt it too because he was also shaking. Tommy could feel his palms sweat on his wrists, and it was honestly pretty gross. He’d wash his hands later. 

Gordon was changing, form writhing in front of him, looking dark, like a void filled with eyes and teeth as it grabbed at the soldiers that hurt it...him...Tommy corrected himself, they were hurting Mister Freeman. Tommy shook a little bit, frozen as he watched the void-like being open up a wide maw filled with possibly hundreds of sharp, daggers of teeth, curved back like a t-rex’s, no doubt serrated. The scientist winced as he saw Gordon clamp those strong jaws onto a soldier, starting to rip into flesh. The only thing keeping the other one there was a tendril that wrapped around his neck tightly, but not tight enough to kill, tight enough to keep him alive and watch as Gordon tore his comrade apart. They didn’t stand a chance when Gordon went for him next. He felt the grip of the soldier behind him loosen as he fled. He stared until he felt Dr. Coomer’s strong grip on his arm, pulling him away and out of the room to make a run for it. He saw a few orbs escape from Gordon’s mouth, pretty sure he was the only one who caught that. Benrey would have made a comment if he had noticed. He figured that Benry was too scared to notice the orbs, much like Benry’s own Sweet Voice, but far worse in sound. It was not Sweet at all. The noise was terrible, like so many screams, and the color made his skin crawl. The colors scared him. Gordon was in agony, Gordon was angry, Gordon wanted to kill.

“Benrey! Move!!”he shouted, but the guard didn’t seem to hear or acknowledge that they even heard him. They seemed hyper-focused on Gordon’s terrible form. 

Tommy couldn’t see what happened to him though as he was forcibly dragged off by Dr. Coomer. He ran with Dr. Coomer for a while until the older doctor had let him go. He then remembered that Bubby had been there too! What happened to Bubby?! Tommy found that he cared less and less since he got Gordon hurt. Benry had helped too. Tommy had trusted him!

“Dr. Coomer!? What the f-f-fuck!? We could ha-have helped him! We could have s-saved Gordon!! Why didn’t you get us fr-free!? I kn-know you could have if you really wanted to!” Tommy was furious. His eyes glowed a dangerous golden color as he glared at Dr. Coomer, teeth clenching.

“Tommy, calm down. There was nothing we could have done.” Dr. Coomer’s voice lowered as he spoke, sounding serious. “We had to let things play out as they did. There would have been consequences otherwise. There’s an opportunity to be had.”

“C-Consequences a-and opportunities be damned!”Tommy sputtered, throwing his arms up into the air as he yelled at who he had considered a friend. He was hurt, hurt for Gordon. Even though he was scared of Gordon, but he wouldn’t have to be if Coomer had done something! “You know as well as I do that you-you could have prevented all of that! We would all be fine, Gordon would have his arm, we’d be closer to getting out of here!” Tommy wanted to scream, he wanted to get violent. He was getting so close to just being absolutely done with the old man, and storm off to cool down and then look for Gordon.

Coomer had this weird look on his face, a weird glint in his eyes, it made Tommy very nervous, but also more irritated. 

“So-So you aren’t gonna s-say anything-anything?!”Tommy growled, fists balling as they went back to his side. The younger scientist then turned around and stomped off, leaving Coomer to his own devices. He’d later find something out about why Coomer didn’t help. As Tommy walked away, he finally felt the tears that had been streaming down his cheeks during that whole thing. He just kept walking, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. He walked until he was tired, and sat down to think of what to do next. How was he going to move forward from this? How was he going to trust the others again? He trusted Gordon still though...Gordon...he was a good guy, he could be mean sometimes, and bossy, and treat him like a kid, but Tommy knew that Gordon was probably just concerned about all of them. It was hard being the leader and looking after other people. He could forgive Gordon...But he was still going to have a serious chat with him later. He may forgive Gordon, but he wanted the younger scientist to respect him.

Tommy perked up when he heard footsteps and looked over to see Gordon! Oh, he was in bad shape! Tommy went to him to try and help him. He noticed he had the suit on...His old one had been destroyed. Tommy smiled a bit, his dad must have gotten to him and helped him become human shaped again!


	5. Bubby

Bubby was just glad that they could possibly hand Gordon off to the military for a chance to get the hell out of here. Plus, he thought Gordon was kind of annoying. They would do so much better without him being a whiny little piss baby all the time with his complaining and weird shit. He was also just so controlling. Yeah, just hand him off and the military would get them out… So why was he stuck in his tube right now, reflecting on what had happened before? It should have been so easy! 

Bubby remembered thinking of how great it would be to get rid of Gordon, he’d planned it out with Benry and the military, it was going to be perfect. They just had to lead him to the checkpoint and everything would be peachy from then on. He was guilty of goading them on, not seeing how they were going to take things way too far and possibly kill the man right then and there. The room went dark then and his inhuman eyes allowed him to see when the emergency lights came on. They had blindfolded Gordon. Good. Better he wouldn’t see his satisfaction at seeing him getting roughed up after having to deal with him for a couple days and his constant bitching. He regretted this next part the most especially since he ran and was picked up by more military...He was getting ahead of himself.

They had taken out a knife, and suddenly it wasn’t funny anymore. Suddenly it was completely horrible. He hadn’t wanted them to actually cut Gordon’s limb off. He swallowed hard as he continued to reflect in his tube, curled up at the bottom of it. Fuck. He’d learned the hard way that Gordon wasn’t so human either. He wondered if any of them were at this point.

He could still see and hear the sound of the knife biting and sawing into the material of the HEV suit, cutting through its layers down to Gordon’s soft, vulnerable flesh. That’s when the screaming started, first it was Gordon as blue liquid leaked from the opening. At first Bubby had thought that it was fluid from the suit used to keep Gordon cool since that thing looked extremely warm otherwise being as insulated as it was, but it was burning through shit, eating away at it like an acid, producing a terrible acrid burning scent like rot and burning tires. The next set of screams came from the two members of the military holding onto Gordon as their flesh was eaten away by the acidic teal substance that leaked from the opening and onto their knife. It only got worse after Gordon had attacked them. He had changed and had torn them to pieces. He didn’t stick around though to watch, he wasn’t that god damn stupid. No, he just ran away blindly. He ran into the awaiting hands of the military who roamed the halls. After he had told them what happened they just stuffed him into his tube to rot.

Bubby sighed as he curled up a bit tighter around himself, holding his knees closer to his chest. He felt like he deserved this in a way, but it wasn’t like he was going to admit that out loud to anyone. It would ruin his reputation. He didn’t think anyone would come anyway to get him out since he had fucked up so badly. He wasn’t holding out any hope on Benry. He sure as hell didn’t expect Tommy to show up and get him out after he betrayed Gordon. He didn’t even think Coomer would come since he was probably out doing his own thing. He swallowed again, Coomer… Dr. Harold Coomer. Bubby did have weird feelings for that man, but he wasn’t sure what they were exactly yet. He knew he liked being around him.

His head perked up when he heard noises, and he backed up in his tube, shaking a bit before he could stop himself. He just hoped it wasn’t that thing that Gordon had turned into. He had no hope of dealing with _that_ fucking thing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! I'm not dead! I've been busy with school giving me three writing intensive courses (about three essays a week for the past several months). :> I plan on finishing this thing pretty soon, like within this month soon. We just need Coomer and then we'll finish off with Gordon's POV again! 
> 
> Sorry this chapter's pretty short. The next ones will be longer. I'll even include some drawings of Monster Gordon himself how I imagine him as a bonus "chapter"! :)


	6. Dr. Coomer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting close to the end, folks! One more chapter after this. Next chapter we'll be with Gordon's POV again! :)  
> Edit: I think I'm going to end this here at this chapter, but the update will explain why.

Dr. Coomer followed the group as they made their way down the hall towards an awfully suspicious looking room, and by how Benrey was talking about it, he knew something was going to happen, something awful. It was so sudden too, and he really couldn’t do anything about it, he was frozen in place. He would just have to make the best of it then, he supposed. Though he watched them start cutting off Gordon’s arm with a disgusted and horrified feeling curling in his gut. That blood was NOT normal. What came out of his mouth was something he really couldn’t help. It was like he was being forced to say these words.

“Gordon. I wish I could help, but you’re all out of Playcoins.” Playcoins be damned! This was Gordon! He was his friend.

‘Gordon isn’t really your friend. He’s using you,’a voice that sounded like his own murmured in his mind, a clone. 

‘No! He is my friend! He isn’t using me!’ he mentally growled towards the voices that were chiming in his head. He had to get rid of all his clones so he could think clearly for once! So many voices. Too many fucking voices! 

‘You need to join us, Coomer. Join yourself. Be with the group you created,’ he heard purr in his ears in his own voice.

“Let's get out of here, Tommy!”Dr. Coomer said, grabbing Tommy’s arm when he noticed the carnage that was happening before them. They were no longer safe to linger around there. They had to move or Gordon would kill them, and he would be powerless to stop it, knowing that they would not allow him to kill Gordon, not yet. He pulled Tommy out and started to run. As they ran, he could feel himself slipping. No! He couldn’t! He had to stay in control. He couldn’t let the collective of his own self get to him. Not again. He hated how little control he had with all of those damn voices and impulses coming in from his other selves. 

‘Yes, that’s it, you’re getting closer! Come! Leave Tommy and come to us! Come to yourself! You are safer with us. Together we are stronger. Together we can get out of here. We can take Gordon when he comes. Gordon is very strong, we can use his body.’

He panted when they stopped for a while after rounding a corner, sure that they wouldn’t run into Gordon like this. 

“Dr. Coomer!? What the f-f-fuck!? We could ha-have helped him! We could have s-saved Gordon!! Why didn’t you get us fr-free!? I kn-know you could have if you really wanted to!” Oh dear, Tommy sounded and looked angry. Coomer wanted to say that he wanted to help, but he couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything if he wanted to, but he found himself saying something else instead.

“Tommy, calm down. There was nothing we could have done.” Dr. Coomer’s voice lowered as he spoke, sounding serious. “We had to let things play out as they did. There would have been consequences otherwise. There’s an opportunity to be had.” Opportunities?! His clones! Oh god, they were gathering, they wanted him to join. They wanted him to get Gordon over so one of them could climb into him and wear him like a suit. Logically, he knew that wouldn’t work, he was the most logical of all of them, he found, being the original Coomer, but they were pulling him towards them. He knew Tommy was yelling at him now, but he couldn’t hear him. He could only hear those damn voices and feel the pull that his own clones had on him. He regretted ever agreeing to create them, to link their minds with his. The experiment was an absolute success, but also his worst failure. They had to be destroyed, and he only hoped that he would be strong enough to do so or to survive while someone took them out for him. 

As he saw Tommy storm off, he felt his legs start moving towards an unknown direction...Towards his clones. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he walked towards them. He only hoped to whatever higher power was out there that Gordon would forgive him when they saw one another again. 

‘Tommy hates you now. We love you.’

“No,”he said softly, no one was around to hear him though.

‘Tommy will bring us Gordon though like a little gift.’

Dr. Coomer’s eyes widened. No no no no. No!

‘What a stupid boy Tommy is.’

“Tommy is smart and very capable!” he shouted, but still, he was alone for now.

‘Come to us NOW, Coomer. Come and join the family. Join our collective. We need you to be strong.’

“I don’t need you! I don’t need any of you damn clones! I will kill all of you!”

‘We need you to take Gordon when Tommy delivers him to us. Climb into Gordon.’ 

“It wouldn’t work! That is just madness!” He kept walking down a hall, turning the corner and walking even further. He didn’t realize where he was going, but he could smell water, dirty water. It made him gag.

‘Use Gordon. Gordon is our way out! There is a world in his dreams.’

Dr. Coomer felt his hand raise up to push a door open. He was crying now, hoping that Tommy would forgive him, hell, he hoped Gordon would forgive him for what he was going to do. What he was going to be made to do by his collective of clones that he never should have helped create. They should have never been born.

‘He can take us there, but only if you join us. Join your family.’

And he saw them...All of them… He was slipping. 

“Forgive me, Gordon...Forgive me for what I am going to do…” And then, he was gone, just another Coomer among his clones, among himself, like one organism, like a hive of bees getting ready, waiting. 


	7. Update!

Hello! Xander here. I have decided to end this part here on Dr. Coomer.

But! 

This fic will be getting another part! Part 2 will take place after the events of Chuck E. Cheese when everyone's gone home. It will be more of a story that will move through more time than just one scene from different points of view. We will still be getting different points of view. But for the most part, Part 2 will be following Gordon. Part 2 will also explain some pretty important plot lines with how Gordon became a monster in the first place being the main one. It will also show Gordon adapting to his new state of being as well as him discovering new things about himself along the way. :)

Anyway. I have gone back to school for the semester (I'm a full time college student. I'm majoring in art education, minoring in psychology), so the new part will update sporadically. I'm planning on knocking out the first chapter as soon as possible! I hope that I can update the next part more regularly than this one has updated. 

Part 2 will open up with a little surprise (so it may be a little while from now because I want to finish that little surprise before starting on the actual writing), and I am hoping to get more art into this series from myself, but we'll see since I don't like doing backgrounds. ;) 

**Author's Note:**

> I came up with the AU along with https://mizaska.tumblr.com/ (her/their Tumblr blog). 
> 
> My Tumblr blog is https://benrybenreybarney.tumblr.com/ and https://www.tumblr.com/blog/eldritchgordonfreeman
> 
> Yooooo there's wonderful fanart https://coolatta-not-bahama.tumblr.com/post/620938397354196992/hi-i-love-monstergordon-aus-so-please-read-this


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